You’re Very Aggressive, And You’re Not Doing Yourself Any Favors

I recently got the feedback that I was being aggressive and I was not doing myself any favors. Obviously, me being me, my first thought was F&%K YOU, MAN. But, then I breathed and realized the feedback, which I have often gotten through my professional career, was as relevant as always to my and my professional trajectory. “I know, I know”, I dejectedly responded, and then immediately and up until now have been obsessing about this valuable, but seemingly unactionable feedback, from one of my peers. I will be honest here, in saying that I am committed to retrying the advice below to help mitigate my aggression.

Exercise. Everyone has always told me that a lot of exercise helps to control those aggressive reactionary feelings. I will say that this is arguably the best control of aggressive tendencies that I have found over the years. When I don’t exercise, I am even more insufferable than normal times. Finding an exercise that fits your schedule and lifestyle is key. For me this is a lot of cardio and playing of games (golf, basketball, badminton) .

Meditate. Honestly, this one has never really done too much for me in terms of controlling my anger and aggression. I know that, for others, the meditation is key to feeling more emotionally balanced. I am open to retrying. I have recently redownloaded the Calm app. Any other recommendations are more than welcome.

Purposeful reflection. Whereas meditating usually seems to be about clearing one’s mind, purposeful reflection is the opposite. This is purposeful and constructive time, not to self deprecate, but to reflect on where you went wrong, what it was that triggered you, and how you plan to move forward and react in a way that is more aligned with your vision of yourself.

I have also determined that I will not give up the passion in my belly. It sometimes fuels the flames of frustration, anger, and aggression. Other times, however, most times, really, my passion fuels so many amazing things in my professional life. I can point to a dozen projects in the last few years where my passion (and many others) has drive ingenuity and fantastic collaboration. At the end of the day I want my passion to fuel the best parts of myself, the the worst. I am committed to moving forward using the techniques outlined above. You should, as well.


Author: Ted Henry Curtis

Support Delivery Manager. Passion for process improvement, standardization, and simplification.

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