How Do You Always Stay So Darn Calm?!

It does not matter what I do, from refilling drink coolers at a gas station (first job) to designing and optimizing workflows (my current role), I have always been and always will be a passionate human being. It can be the dumbest thing ever, but if I feel strongly about something, folks will know my passion. It is who I am and how I operate, and, truth be told, it is that fire in my belly that is a big part of how I have achieved in life. This being said, folks misconstrue my passion for anger, most of the time, and sometimes my passion can lead me astray. Still, I have learned and am still very much learning how to control and channel the passion that is a huge part of my identity in positive ways.

Be self aware. There is nothing worse than a person who is clearly angry or feeling the passion stating that they are not angry. We can almost literally see the steam coming out of your ears, sir, you are most definitely angry. Learn to be self aware of the fact and times in which you have lost your cool in the heat of the moment. I reflect so much I have to actually remind myself to STOP after a time. I have to remind myself (over and over again) that I am human, and I am going to make mistakes. What is import is that I learn, and continue and try and be a little bit better every day.

Do not ever make it personal. If you are anything like me moments of passionate responses about work and other exchanges in life live rent free in our heads, it is personal. Now, as a deeply passionate person EVERYTHING is personal to me, but, it does not mean you have to make it personal for other folks by calling them out, cursing at them, or even saying negative things about them behind their back or to their face. Keep your passion focused on the issues clearly at hand, and not about the folks involved. If you focus your passion on the issues, usually a great outcome will emerge from healthy challenge and debate.

We make mistakes, so, recognize and apologize. Sometimes we as passionate people step out of bounds, so to speak. We make it personal for others, or, this is my personal favorite, we keep beating a dead horse. When it is over, it is over. While you may not be able to let it go, you do not need to constantly let others know that something is festering away at your brain. Your counselor or spouse cares, almost everyone else does not.

Give yourself grace. You are a human person. It takes time to channel energy that is naturally fuel for a cranky fire in a positive, healthy way. If you follow the advice above, you will quickly find that you are growing as a person, and recognizing those moments when you allow your passion to flow, but under control. Give yourself time to grow. You have most definitely got this!

Author: Ted Henry Curtis

Support Delivery Manager. Passion for process improvement, standardization, and simplification.

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